Lost and Found

Reminiscing on the last decade of my life and changing view of self

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Socially awkward

...yet a silent warrior

Submerged in societal cacophony.

But the warrior in me,

Lit the city and everything that surrounded me.

Socially relevant

                          ... was I found?

Confidence teased societal music

The warrior in me,

Sought validation by the ego that consumed me.

Socially shut

                         …and a silent spectator

Overpowered by societal silence.

Muted warrior, when will you rise?

Find yourself first then realize.

The word, I.

Introspecting on Introspection

Instrospection - the word, oomphed I.

‘Twas self discovery long back.

Introspection – belittled by selfies,

Duck-faced filters on Snapchat.

Beauty is skin deep, or was it?

Self worth dances a different tune ~

To the current gravitas.

Pardon me – I mean Twitter Trends.

Project yourself!

‘Click Click Click’

Add some likes to fan your existence.

Your opinions in scope only via tweets.

Oh wait! Don’t get me wrong!

I am so NOT -

The in-your-face relentless Facebook poster

Or Imposter – Touche Touche!

I am to blame too,

A follower shadowing the duck faced

Billowed - now the prey and hounded

What happened to the ‘I’ that I lovingly faced?

Enamoured by the sense of worth,

Sold in the virtual world.

Easy give and take-

Good publicity is all about getting trolled

Coming full circle with you -my I

Introspect with you - Dear I, you meant a lot

How did the letter i,

Blur out the word I?

Frotteurism - The Indian Epidemic

This is the most undesired name that I wanted to give to my first note in 2017. The unlikeliest word that answers so many questions. This article (http://www.dailyo.in/politics/crime-against-women-womens-safety-frotteurism-indian-men-rape/story/1/14958.html)  has better placed most of the problems gripping our Indian society in a single and a perfect term –Frottage. “In everyday speak, we call it groping. Wilful, unwanted touching, that we have been witnessing everywhere in the last few days. And anyone who derives sexual pleasure from non-consensual touching is a frotteur.” I cringed even while typing those words.

Until I read this, I always believed that lack of education is the root-cause of most of the ills in the Indian society. Not anymore! No amount of education can help cure this sickening and selfish trait that has crippled even further, the warped brains of most of those men who revel in their whimsical and farcical sense of self.

Until I read this, I always believed capital punishment could deter these horrendous acts. Not anymore! Having read counter arguments that this could motivate the rapist to kill the victim and hence this capital punishment for rape cannot be the law. We might as well lay out the red carpet for these scums of earth! Even the law cannot hold a candle to this crime?

Until I read this, I always believed that this is a problem more in the rural landscape than the urban. However, my memory gave me a reality check. I was surprisingly reminded of my university days. Back in university while pursuing engineering, there was an unspoken rule for girls - for certain electronics labs - wear indian dresses and not western wear or you won't get good marks. Hard work and perseverance  can go out of the window. It may have been a rumour but the teachers made no effort to dispel it either.

I do not consider myself to be a hardcore feminist but I strongly believe that everybody has an equal right to live life by their own terms until it encroaches the boundaries of others. We are wasting time in questioning the focus on the length of a girl’s dress or questioning an ill-remarked comment by equally sick politicians. It is a disease. The only cure of which starts at individual households where equality between men and women should be practiced as a way of life. Education should move beyond teaching self-sufficiency for adulthood but on soft aspects such as respect, compassion and empathy. Until then we are only treating the symptoms and not curing the problem.

Living outside India has made me closer to my country more than ever. I always reminisce on the missing Indian vibe and believe that we have a culture that is stronger and different than any other. Or is it? Have I fallen prey to the hullabaloo? I hate to admit it, but maybe I have.

Foul Melancholy

A rant about one of those days

Digging into the depths of that corner,

Untouched and unexplored.

Patience treads along to accompany the mourner

For opportunities that are lost.

Forsaken confidence

Feeds on the mirage of my ego.

Gluttonous futility gains credence -

One step, Two step and start all over again

How many more failures until one gives up?

How many tests that deem themselves worthy of my self-respect?

Hard work is the manipulator - usurp her dreams - usurp!
You foul liar, floating by the lack of gravitas.

So devour me melancholy - consume me – one step, two step,
To leave me in that corner.
When you reach my dreams, let the light fade slowly,
Please stand by a little while longer.